Let me start by saying, I do believe in alternative medicines even though I have not yet let my sister, Laurel, do biofeedback on me. I also believe in getting massages after long plane rides, especially if they are good quality massages for reasonable amounts of money. So when our hotel referred us to the TCM Beauty Clinic on Tin Hau Street in Causeway Bay, I was psyched. Mom booked a 45 minute massage and I booked a 30 minute deep tissue massage and a facial. And it could all be had for about half what we'd pay at home! It was too good to be true - and in fact, it was.
My massage therapist and esthetician was Sandy Lee, the proprietor of the establishment. This was not the kind of massage you ease into - Sandy immediately went to work on my upper back and neck - kneading, pulling, prodding, you name it. In between my yelps of pain, she proceeded to outline for me all the ways in which my body is messed up and in need of major amounts of Chinese medicine. But great news - she would be more than happy to provide whatever is needed. She was definitely perceptive and noticed I can't fully straighten my arms (note to my trainer Mark Harris: if you're reading this you are vindicated). The massage ended with her placing about 10 things along my back and shoulders that felt like giant potato chip clips - but were actually suction cups the size of a can of Red Bull. She then left me sitting like that for about 20 minutes. Sandy warned me I would be bruised today and she was not kidding. I won't be wearing any backless shirts soon, my back looks like a game of Twister.
Then we moved onto the facial, which was better. It still involved a lot of kneading in painful places, which she assured me was very good for my chi or whatever. The last 30 minutes involved a lavender steam mask on my face which was quite relaxing. Having already been left under the suction cups and being in somewhat of a jetlagged state, I started to wonder if maybe this was one of those operations where they sedate you and harvest one of your kidneys. The only reason I did not start to panic at this thought was Sandy did not have much nice to say about the perceived condition of my kidneys and as such I was pretty sure she did not want them.
As odd as it sounds, I did feel about 100 times better at the end of the whole thing. Sandy sent me home with $100HKD of herbs (US $13) which I was supposed to take and come back to see her the next day. She is even willing to ship the herbs all over the world for just US $55 a month! Once I sprung free I realized the preposterousness of all this, and I am happy to say I won't be going back to the TCM Clinic even though the end result of yesterday, less the bruises, was good.
And I am drinking a tea with Chinese herbs, for inspiration, as I write this post.
2 comments:
Great story,Grretchen! Thanks for sharing. Reminds me of my days in Asia. Try "deer horn" tea if you get a cough.
Once upon a time, I was trained to recognize cupping bruises so as not to confuse them with child abuse. I never expected you to provide me with the refresher course. Gretchen2spotOhMy!
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